Saturday, November 15, 2014

THE Ultrasound

Ok, at some point of life I’m going to be more consistent with this blog, but let’s be honest – raising children can be the most wonderful kind of exhausting.  Two years ago today, Brian and I had THE ultrasound with the most beautiful shock of all, and that must be shared…..

October 29, 2012, Brian and I got the call we hoped and prayed for – after a successful round of IVF, we were pregnant!  Since our nurse left a voicemail with the good news, she called later that night to congratulate us.  She mentioned that because my beta number was so high, there was a chance of multiples.  After two more rounds of blood work with an elevated level, we scheduled our first ultrasound for Thursday, November 15.  The two weeks and three days following the news of possible multiples before the ultrasound were so very long.  The excitement of pregnancy, as well as the sickness of pregnancy, preparing for a baby, possibly two……but at no point of those two weeks and three days did the thought of triplets float through my mind.  I focused on and talked about A child.  After trying for so long and what we went through in hopes of a child, there was no room for thoughts of “just one child” after the ultrasound.

November 15, Brian and I had an appointment after work.  We spent the day texting and emailing a countdown to the ultrasound, looking forward to seeing our sweet baby.  We met at the doctor’s office and settled into our room.  While we waited for the doctor, we heard a nurse say outside our door “I think it’s twins” - the same nurse who told me the week before that they were fighting over who would be in the room with us for the ultrasound.  Our doctor came in and got down to business.  During the ultrasound, the monitor was faced towards him.  I was unable to see, but Brian and the nurse were able to.  After a few minutes I heard our doctor say “huh”.  So many questions went through my head!   I immediately looked to Brian.  His face was as red as it could be, mouth dropped, pure joy.  I then looked to my nurse who was taking notes, holding back a smile, and gave me the same comforting wink she had given me so many times over the past few months.  Our doctor then turned the screen around to me.  What happened after this is a haze to me now…..but I do remember him showing us two little people, then scanning around to show us another little person, and spending an embarrassing amount of time calculating 2+1=3.  TRIPLETS.  I’m not going to lie, what followed was an “OH” followed by an expletive, backed by a combination of shock, fear, and utter happiness.  (Give me a break, I just found out we were expecting THREE BABIES).  My mind was filled with thoughts of three babies – THREE BABIES, the risks involved, I will never be able to tell these little people apart, I’m going to have to quit my job and become a stay at home mom, how are we going to afford to take care of three babies, and bouncing back and forth between the fear of three babies and thrilled over three babies. 

When we got it together and left the room, a majority of the staff already heard the news.  After several hugs and congratulations, we were on our way.  I headed home, and bless his heart, Brian went to class – and actually stayed through the entire class.  I wasn’t out of my parking spot before I was on the phone with my sister Allison – my personal life coach, keeper of my most juicy secrets, and speaker of the truth.  As soon as she answered the phone I remember telling her that I needed her to be Polly Positive, because I was freaking out enough for the both of us.  Her first question was “is everything ok”, and I hit her with the news.  She thought it was a joke.  After I finally convinced her that this was not a joke and I actually had an ultrasound showing three little people sitting beside me, we had a rollercoaster conversation that could convince anyone we were absolutely insane.  How hard triplets will be, how much fun triplets will be, how blessed we are, and all the many reasons we should be stressed out right now.  She summed it up perfectly when she said “I am so scared, but grinning ear to ear right now”.  Several times during the conversation and since then, she mentioned that if anyone was capable of raising triplets, it was us.  As soon as I got off the phone with her, I then talked to Brian’s first phone call, Jon, who was more than thrilled.  While talking to Jon, I was at least a mile up the highway before I realized I completely missed the turn for our neighborhood. When I finally made it home, I immediately walked next door to see my friend/neighbor Vedrana, with a stream of ultrasound pictures in my hand.  I showed her the picture of the two babies (who we now know as my boys Jackson and Jonathon).  She was thrilled over twins…and then I showed her the single baby, and she cried.  I also talked to my friend Lauren, who responded with dead silence and a “WHAT?!”  Everyone’s response was similar – shock, excitement, and the reassurance that Brian and I could handle this.

After the initial shock wore off (for the moment), I was a mess of emotions.  Grateful that after what we went through in hopes of one baby, we were blessed with three.  Fear of raising three babies, and how we could afford the mountain of necessities.  Overwhelming joy we would experience.  Anticipation of our trip home to Alabama the following week to tell our family that not only were we expecting, but also what we were expecting.  The stress we would experience raising three babies 8 hours away from our family.  The wonder of the genders, personalities, would Brian get the mini-Maryann he’s always wanted, and would I get the mini-Brian I always wanted.  The high risks surrounding my pregnancy, for me and the babies.  Appreciative for the amount of time we tried, and our experience with IVF, because even though we were facing a high risk pregnancy, and life as we know it had flipped upside down and inside out, I valued and cherished this wonderful, wonderful gift God had given us so much more because of it. 

Even on our worst day, if we were able to go back to the day of transfer and have the doctor tell us that one embryo would give us our Jackson and Jonathon, and the second our sweet lady, I would – without a doubt – choose this wild, but wonderful, life of ours. 

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